How To Hold A Box Jellyfish - By Finn Snow & Philippines Big Dream Boat Man

And off to the children's playground we go. Not one with monkey bars, swing, slide nor merry-go-round. This time, let's join heroic vlogger-adventurer Finn Snow in the Philippines as he does something stupid and risky while telling others how to be stupid and risky so he can be popular, and make money or save money with free tours.

The title of his video is 'How To Juggle BOX JELLYFISH (Blindfolded)'. Sorry, that should be, 'How To Safely Hold BOX JELLYFISH (Coron Palawan)'.

Keep in mind that box jellyfish are widely known as the world's most venomous animal. Dozens of innocent victims are killed by them every year in the Philippines, mainly children. 

The title is dumb, the content is dumber and the advice is the dumbest.  

Unless you want to indulge in the endless narcissism of the flawless Finn Snow and his model side-kick who vainly attempt to eclipse a stunning Philippines' backdrop, fast-forward his Youtube video to around 6:50 minutes.

Palawan in the Philippines is beautiful, and a box jellyfish hotspot. Here, deep in the mangroves is boxie breeding territory. And this is where we find Finn 'Danger is my middle name' Snow.       

Apparently on their way to some hot springs, their idiotic guide (would love to see his credentials and first aid training card) finds and holds up a box jellyfissss (oops, finger got stuck), um, jellyfish. With the wisdom of David Attenborough, the cunning of Bear Grylls and steel cajones of Steve Backshall, fabulous Finn Snow digs deep. 

Like an excited toddler pointing at a seagull, Finn Snow tells us that, like, um, wow, it's deadly.

Then, while sensibly dressed in nothing more than a bandana, Finn Snow risks life and limb as he explains with heartfelt emotion that someone was killed by a box jellyfish there last year. So sad.

With a quick flex of his pecs our hero goes on to describe how to safely handle a box jellyfish. Not only that, we're told with great authority that to remove the tentacles one must do it at the transparent section, not the deadly bottom or centre sections. 

Why we need to do this is not completely clear. Has our Icelandic ignoramus confused tentacles with testacles? Is this some kind of Freudian castration anxiety symbolic of our boy's own balls? Hmmm, who knows; just do it grrrrrr!

Meanwhile; one, two, ten, twenty box jellyfish could be swimming between his and his fellow travellers' legs. And just a little reminder, mangroves are where they breed with each individual capable of producing 1.5 million boxie babies. Oh, and then they asexually reproduce often tripling this amount.  

So, while we're talking numbers, check these out:

  • 1 adult boxie has enough venom to kill 60 humans
  • There are 800,000 stinging cells per sq. cm of tentacle
  • Stinging cells discharge at 1 million Gs
  • Boxies swim at a speed of 3 knots
  • Their eyes have retinas, corneas, lenses and 360-degree field of vision
  • And they have 64 arseholes

Speaking of which, segue to the upshot of his video and it seems that our star Finn Snow is playing the influencer and ostensibly promoting a tour company. Big Dream Boat Man. BDBM.

Tripadvisor rates this tour in Palawan highly with BDBM being honoured with some sort of award for excellence.

Further Reading:

But what about safety big dream boat guys? To get to the hot springs, guests need to wade and snorkel through box jellyfish infested mangroves known (according to Finn Snow) to have recently taken at least one life. Are they informed of the risk? Hopefully not just a generic dangerous animals' clause buried in an indemnity form. Are they provided with protective clothing? Is there any vinegar taken along in case of an emergency? Is there any evacuation plan in place if a guest is stung? Is anyone at BDBM responsible if something goes wrong?

Well, not really. Read this company's Terms of Use fine print as it is the usual generic 'included but not limited to ... directly or indirectly' liability waiver that legally protects BDBM and screws you.

Yeah, yeah, there are lots of crazy, risky, stupid things that people do and that's their choice and their right and no-one has to copy or go along with them. This is a wilderness. Shit happens. Sure, sure. However, Finn Snow seemingly has no idea or insight into box jellyfish and it looks like the tour group only found out when relaxing in the hot springs. Where's the duty of care?
The risk to him is part of the thrill that he thinks his adoring followers seek while BDBM are happy to just let it happen. This is the Philippines where life's an adventure, and accordingly worth less than in similar places like Australia's Great Barrier Reef or Hawaii where box jellyfish safety is serious. Right? 

Well, perhaps his demonstrably unsafe and irresponsible BDBM guide knows the answer. Or, just ask the families who lost their children in the most traumatic, painful and tragic of circumstances.  

All of this does throw a huge question mark on the overall safety of Big Dream Boat Man's operation. Readers, here's some not-so-fine print for you: buyer beware!

As a vlogger with over 300,000 followers and a business running tours that set customers back 32,000 PHP (over 550 Euro) for 4 days, you both need to set the standard. Running boat tours means they'd have lifejackets and a first-aid kit on board. If there's any rock climbing they'd no doubt have harnesses and offer safety instructions. If snorkelling in a breeding area for dangerous sharks they'd let their customers know, wouldn't they?
What you're doing looks like fun and young travellers are easily seduced. Don't expect them to be fully aware of the risks and don't expect authorities to make them aware. Stop selling box jellyfish as a tourist attraction and instead warn your followers and customers. Take it upon yourselves Finn Snow and BDBM - set an example; put the dream boat, your bollocks and the dollars aside and be REAL big men!

Finn Snow's Youtube Video:


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